Celebrating 30 years of marriage to this amazing Colorado woman (December 29, 2008), has prompted me to think about many things. How God brought us together. It was in the Warren (of Whitworth campus) lounge where Mark Lichty and I had organized the first FCA of the year. Being seniors and excited to lead and serve and hopefully make a difference on the campus that year, we got the word out and many came. One of the activities was to break into small groups, getting to know those sitting around you. Tammy was in my group and I was captured by what she had to share and thought immediately that I'd like to get to know her better. Sure enough, later that evening, I went down to her room for a short visit. I met her roommate Dixie as well. I asked Tammy if she'd like to go for a run in a couple of days. She said yes. Anyway, we met and went to the Pine Bowl, running, then walking maybe 20-30 times around the track (who knows, we were enjoying this visit too much to notice). We learned all about our families, likes and dislikes and talked about the Lord Jesus and how we both wanted Him to be the most important person in our lives. I think we were both smitten to a degree. Tammy was not dating anyone but I was fairly serious about a girl at Whitworth, whom I''d been in relationship with for maybe 7 months. Needless to say, Tammy and I became good friends as I struggled with this other relationship. It took quite a while during the school year but I knew this other relationship was not the right one and I/we broke up. Still, I was afraid of hurting someone and afraid of getting hurt, so I laid low for some time. I always knew Tammy was very special but for some reason (just not God's timing yet), I couldn't make the step from friend to boyfriend to ......... In the spring of her sophomore year, I was student teaching at Ferris. I lived with the Whitmans and Ken Whitman became my second Dad. We talked about everything and I asked him lots of questions. One night, April 1st (fools day) to be exact, we were talking and I was greatly agonizing about Tammy and how incredible and awesome she was but that something was keeping me from moving ahead. I even told him that recently, I had encouraged some of my good friends to consider dating her. Well, I cannot remember what Ken said to me but I immediately felt panic, excitement, even pain because I knew at that moment for sure, that she was the one God had for me and I had not talked to her in a while. After all, she was across town at Whitworth. I quickly called her dorm phone (there was just a phone on the floor of each dorm) and it must have rang 25 times before someone picked it up. It was Tammy, who had just returned from the Hawaiian Luau. I asked her if we could meet right now to talk. Since we were 30 minutes apart, we met at the old Savage House Pizza parlour at Northwest Blvd and Monroe. We jumped into my metallic brown (Little Brown Jug) VW bug and drove to a bluff just above the Spokane River, near Downriver golf course. My mouth was paralyzed for what felt like minutes before I said, "I wanted to meet with you tonight because I know you are the one God has for me.....we are meant to be together." WOW, talk about shock! Tammy thought our meeting was for me to tell her I was getting engaged to Jenny James, who I had recently kinda dated. She had just about given up on me and in fact had been "walking" with one of my best friends, who I had encouraged to check her out. I had almost waited too long and just about blown it. Anyway, she didn't know what to say but she was willing to start "officially" dating, even from across town, as we could. We talked every night on the phone (no cells yet) and went on a few dates around town and got to know each other in earnest. Seven weeks later, on our last date before I was to fly to the Orient to play baseball, we ate at Casa Blanca and walked around Riverfront Park. WE got on the Gondolas, giving us a beautiful view of the falls. The water crashing over the falls was loud, so I tried to project my voice when I said, "Tammy, will you marry me and be my wife?" I hardly heard my voice but she answered, YES! loudly. I immediately asked her if she really heard my question. She did. We then moved to the steps leading to the water, outside of the Opera House, where we talked about and dreamed about, getting married. To shorten this already long story............just over 7 months later (Dec 29, 1978), we were married, in Arvada, Colorado. Groomsmen and I played football with shorts and no shirts the day before (maybe 70 degrees), but on our wedding night, a typical Colorado snow storm hit and some could not make it to Arvada. The blizzard was so bad that we barely made it to the airport hotel, where we stayed before catching a early flight to Spokane and then the Seattle area. The airport story, the one where Tammy waited for me to get our now frozen/dead car started (day two of marriage) is too long to share here. I made my new bride cry. Another day.
Truly, this 30+ years with Tammy has been the most joyful, exhilarating, challenging, fun, difficult, amazing, miraculous, wild adventure ever. To watch her grow in the Lord and as a mother and wife and friend.........truly amazing. She has impacted me greatly (our family too) and because of her love for Jesus and love for me, it makes me want to be a better man. Lots of give and take and lots of asking for forgiveness and forgiving too.
Marriage is not an easy road. A lot of self has to be pushed aside if you're truly going to serve your spouse. You have got to be a team and that takes a ton of work. Not always fun. But worth it? Yes, well worth it in every way. And your relationship has to be about Jesus......loving, serving, honoring and getting to know Him. What a rock solid foundation to build a life and family on. God's way does work, after all, He planned the whole thing
Here's to another 30 years or whatever the Lord allows us. And here is to you, wherever you are in your marriage. It can be just like Miracle Max (Billy Crystal) said in the Princess Bride............."True Lub, you think this happens every day???" My friend, it can for you.
